the supposed so

there to form two harbored streaks, continue
and lead me out into the storms
who find no features to be faded off the lawn
and tell me straight
until i’m stronger
when you will admit no loss
and soldier on
a past into the future’s sun
will you
pass me and be gone
to find no sequence in stow
and land me prouder to the storm…
the calm
calms nothing
i say, it’s longer than creation
on and on
finding me fading
find me gone

looking for the perfect beat
settled for sleeping on dirty streets
again and again, i was once and for all
once upon a time, i was yours
but ‘round and around i went and am gone
worth every second i spent underground
so party on, lady
you told me so
with absences spelling it out

(right hand)
make me earth and alive
i am one and the same
i could do anything
(but i’m) playing the game?
words are ideas
i am always the same
this is a digression….

(left hand)
this is digression
take me away?
i love “each other”
and now, i’m dismayed
i will be kindness
and i’ll be okay
i’ve been in pain
this? i am wondering…
i need a smoke
so i guess i will gamble
and just say “no”

1)
disappear into a dance and shiver rightly
contract a tire on a street of fabled rams
cause no beatitudes of bravery where
bashing knows no stable,
to be tied upon no tirade of a lamb

____

deny your penchant to be writhing from no closeted stare
depict no candle burning down so you can handle me with care
could you allow me to go waltzing, as i’m down and out
i’m talking to a voice inside my head
an idea born like brothers’ bread
mine eyes remain, but fading like the sun behind my bed

____

liars treat me poorly for a penchant born
from histories expecting to be able to be worn away
like tread on aged tires
i know no one to read the fire which only keeps us warm
my father was not who i greet with scorn
and yet he knew the times
and even still, i’m not
be mine
God is god: commit no crimes

2)
myself is barren desert
or a canyon wrought by flames
my tongue denies itself itself
because i feel i am to blame
regardless of the reasons that i’ve lifted and received
from beggars begging me to help them
or to kill them with a smoke

____

i am a tired minister of madness all my own
i am a wholesome creature even with my aching bones
i am a finely tuned decision i can’t make
because of history; who knows what all’s at stake?

____

i have no well for drinking
just a pen and paper mates
i have no time for dreaming
so the dreams run into days or daze
only when i’m shattered like a mirror can you even see
the pieces of me

3)
lie like liars lying
try to tell all truths
take me as one talent i have always used
utilize your pain and don’t pretend you’re who you aren’t
especially a craving for the “parent talk”

____

a bird or bee establishes their natures know
a partner tends to tell you what they think without words to talk
you could spill your heart, no guts to follow
you could scream your thoughts
a sadness wallows

____

i am broken or diseased
and one plus one is three

4)
an old man knows no happiness
when he’s sitting all alone
a tirade of inceptions, all
are finely toned
my table is a touchstone
my chair is soaking wet
athletic rights aside, i am scared to death
my teeth are fine - who gives a fuck
unless they’re killing me
my gums, my gums, so often bleed

____

my stomach is a-twisting
and i’m really not a kid
i”m older than so many with an age that’s twice their id

____

capture love on canvas any multitude of ways
and don’t pretend
my god, pretending is a form of lying
unless you’re acting reactionarily
tell the truth and instant karma might reward you

1)
take “please” and jump toward a channel,
weird and regarded as a truth, untold.
and do discard an old backyard -
forming forgiveness on a distance placed,
as i am alive.
yes.
and i will give.

dressed and reporting lies,
i’m happy just to be alive.
i’m a culture.
i am a shadow.
i’m a drag into form
with me bold and dark

2)
break me into shadows
(we’ve all got more than 1)
i know i am willing
i know im not the only son.
know that he is struggling with this
forced, repulsive set.
and know that i don’t care too much…
because i see nothing in no eyes

and so, beyond me, i’ll be laughing
and so, in front of - i shall pass
and so long
(and so forth)

1)
and now i have built something
now i’ve destroyed
maybe one morning
they’ll take me away
and i’ll be out wondering
never a name
stealing and bartering
the old-fashioned way
one day i’ll have money
one day they’ll be gold
moss on the windows
dust on the floor
i’ll be okay
with a tie and no more

____

this is a form of silence
prayer on my lips
there is no pattern here
wait - sure there is
i have been saying wow!
you’ve been alone
i have been seeing you
never too close

2)
granted, i’m just a boy
where there’s something to own
granted, i’m nothing less
than standing at home
where my heart beats for whomever
whenever, i
am standing outside
or caught in a lie

____

crawling out, drawing in
breaths through my lungs
stomach inflated
having no fun
but fun is a thing
i can have anywhere
love is a feeling
i greet with the stairs

____

friends facing walls
i on their side
trying on hats
and wearing each one in stride
vaudeville, it seems
can only be true
if forces decide that it’s them & not you

3)
dig out your catacombs
watch as you go
mad with grief, screaming
don’t laugh and don’t know
bodies unmoving
degrated in stone
they aren’t wasted
their soul is their eyes and the hair on their toes
believe you are right
when you bury your lives
and know that remembering
takes you on something
you won’t overcome
i love you, my father
my mother, don’t cry
i am a warrior
hear me decide
to say “fuck” to the pavers
and land on my steed
drenched with abhorrence
but taking no lead

4)
loneliness drives my words
solitude weeps
i am no ocean
you are the breeze
take the pain always
twist upon waves
surf on desire
and rule over me; saying whomever
whomever you choose

____

don’t you know, everyone
tells me the same
things to remember
like “what is her name”
i am not speaking
of you anymore
i have more problems
i’ve earned the score

5)
bells on the choir side
shall i shine on?
eyes all blue
like a brilliance of none
face me a tell me
i’ve only made pain
and i’ll tell you, my goodness
and your fun shall remain

____

here; tonight
never again
never a morning
never a pen
describing such feelings
regarded as sin
what in the world is that
what is it to win?

6)
cry for no riverboat
die for no crime
lie for no passion sense
try me, and how
i am impossible
i am away
do you think i am speaking
of only one thing?
i am a lifetime
i am a closet
i am a feeling
i’ve lost my own
i am
you aren’t
you are
i”m not
try it
do nothing
do something
or sue?
no.

7)
double meanings aside
or, likewise, within
there’s always a yesterday
pulling me thin
tear me apart
and scream at my face
i’ve been awaiting
and hunting nothing
don’t care
i am a writer
i am a song
i write for no one
but myself on my lawn
trees above, keeping me
sickness aside
kill me and warning
will face me
and sigh

8)
dear mr president,
like what you’re doing
love who you are
know what is real
when there’s feet and no car
i tell you i love my home
my home is myself
i was born an american
and want nothing else

____

fuck what decisions
you make that i know
are unethical - ethics are at the window
doors are opening
i’m running out
but it’s cold, so i’ll sit
where i should be
to drown

1)
i am beginning
a chapter or three
words unforgiving
but laughing with thee
i have been hungry
i have been cold
so here i am written
dirty but bold

2)
times are a-changin’
i’m certain of that
some people are fading
but we’ll all be back
there is a home inside of your chest
but a bed and a shower
equals a well earned rest

3)
how do you sleep
when you can’t speak through
coughing and beeping
whistling; dixied
oh how i wonder
oh how i rhyme
the past month is over
now it’s my time
to shine
to dine

4)
oh, oh, my love
where have you been
i’ve seen you, but your face
has been hidden
still i can wonder
still i can dream
but i know for certain
this love

only in the evening
do discussions never die
only in the morning
does insanity subside
you are not what you are
i am all that’s me
i’ve shown it time and time again
when the fuck will you believe
there’s a word worth saying
when all you want is her
there’s a mind worth watching
when you think it’s just absurd
do you know the muffin man?
do you think he’d eat himself
when the pain of hunger’s killing him
trying to escape
this fucked up
nasty
ridiculous
bullshit
etc.
hell

maybe or not
wishful and doubt
i am a martyr
with no martyrdom
i know it’s worthless
to try and be mean
to be mean is so average
to be great is unclean
there’s couples and coupled thoughts
racing through minds
not mine
i’m all numbing
all painful in time

this is no worship
i’ve seen it around
god as jazz singers
sleeping on grounds
there is a reason
i’ve no real unknown
but watching is nothing i
see in a stone

go to sleep now, you’re lovely
go to sleep and wake up
to a world which is nothing
but a drink from a cup
know that it’s worthless
to try and be tried
for when the show’s over
i’ll cry and i’ll cry

take up no arms
against no arms laid down
but scream like the devil
at guns all around
know that it’s working
know that i’m through
with trying and lying
about love
chicken soup
for a soul in a basket
down rivers; be lame
be posh and be dazzled
i’m what?
i’m the same

1)
i sat for no reason
i stood to be tall
i loved and i lost
but not for nothing at all
all research has shown
that the weather is changing
stem cells are life too
but nothing like a baby
my skin is on fire
know it or not
my mind is retired
and my heart means a lot
nothing i write can be sitting in stone
all i can sing can be sung alone
my guitar knows how i’m feeling
it does
she cries as i play
on the wings of a dove
tell me a tale
unless i need silence
then i’ll take what fails
and sail

____

beeps clicks
honks
shit
holy if not be alive with each fit

1)
i am a singer
you are the song
i have been speaking
always too long
when i am over
i’m finished; not out
when i am off
i am on and on

____

after a sentence
after a line
i could be something
someone in time
even though splinters
may calm as you dig
it is still painful
is in and a sieve

____

talk and be talking
don’t speak but with
how are you spinning
it’s twirls but it is

2)
a forward procession
might seem and be scene
i know it’s random
a chemical team
distress my expression
no worries; relax
it is a connection
of souls ticked with tack

____

doubt on a cover
is always
it’s a form
it’s formerly
it’s warm
drink
smoke
repeat
relax
settle
keep
know…
& how?
please/thank you/you’re welcome
no problem

prairie on kentucky
where your waters ride
layer on, old buddy
with your tired eyes
i am what the washing was
when rains of april cried
i am where the files, fold
on moons and tides

1)
once there was a wishing for a tired trance
once there was a dreaming of the slowest dance
once there was a shimmer beyond the bottom of the sea
which shown with fractions of enablers who calm themselves
by tossing food

why can you be wasting what your water dries
when are we entitled to be a closet bride
before your anger tires of deliverance
deside your danger when you dedicate your song
it was for you
it was right
or was it wrong

2)
have you seen the way dogs love me
have you heard a kitten cry
out as candles clip and cameras
click and clatter flashbulbs ‘til you die
in a haze of sorrows, tomorrow’s inside
walls built all brazen

1)
without a want for molding
without a tongue which tastes
i am all but empty
with a shrinking waste
i am hungry not for feeling
yes, i do so much, it’s true
and even though i’m waiting
i am not your you

2)
i’ve said it before, ya’ll misunderstand
i am a male; i am a man
can you not dream that a person, creating
needs space to be writing

3)
i’d like to shower
i’d like to change
people are changing
but not in my range
i need a meal
i need to eat lots and lots…
because my work can’t be done
when i’m left to be lost

4)
it doesn’t matter who is around
i think you’ll recall that i’m everyone’s found
when pastures deliver bullshit on the lawn
i’m only forgetting
convincing every single fucking person of something isn’t my job
i am a writer
i am a ghost
i play piano
or blues on guitar
it doesn’t matter
what i do is create
art is my function
and i cannot wait

5)
realize i know what i do
it’s only in doing where doing is true
i need my privacy
away from the crowds
always and forever i’ll be proud
so be proud
that i cannot help who you force to be ‘round
but if they are shadows
there’s light to be found
i cannot live on the street

peace be with all
who can’t be away
from a while, i’ll take it
as it goes all astray
no, no, no wings
i, on the clouds
driving through storms of the mind
i could walk all for all times

____

running is fine when you’re back
walls and bridges make way too
give up my life? my dreams?
my career?
maybe i write
so someone will hear

____

whose 2 cents is worth a penny?